Monthly Archives: June 2009

Is There Poop in the Eschaton?

I was in the Duke Divinity School library yesterday doing some research, and noticed this theological discussion conducted via graffiti near the study carrells.

Is there poop in the eschaton?

I think I’m going to poop

I did!

I can’t!  Even after ex-lax!  Help!

SERIOUSLY- What do you think?  Is there pooping in the eschaton?

Depends:  at the resurrection, yes.  Not at any disembodied intermediate state, though.

RESURRECTED BODIES WILL PROCESS NUTRIENTS PERFECTLY, PRODUCING NO WASTE

Is feces waste?  It puts nutrients back into the soil.  Could the interconnectivity of life needed to make heaven edenic truly be present without a little poop?

I just hope this doesn’t eventually lead to a church split.  The last thing we need are poop-in-the-New-Earth Methodists squaring off against no-poop-in-the-New-Earth Methodists.

Until I know otherwise, I’m going to assume this is the work of pre-law students.  Divinity students should all know the real answer already.

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Filed under Bad Examples, Bad Theology, Noted In Passing, This Is Bad

How Stories Ought To Be Told

A rabbi, whose grandfather had been a pupil of Baal Shem Tov, was once asked to tell a story. “A story ought to be told,” he said, “so that it is itself a help,” and his story was this. “My grandfather was paralyzed. Once he was asked to tell a story about his teacher and he told how the holy Baal Shem Tov used to jump and dance when he was praying. My grandfather always stood up while he was telling the story and the story carried him away so much that he had to jump and dance to show how the master had done it. From that moment, he was healed. This is how stories ought to be told.”

Martin Buber, as related by Johann Baptist Metz

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Filed under Random, This Is Good

A Moment of Grace

Pixar grants girl’s dying wish to see Up.

This stuff didn’t get to me before my daughter was born.  I’m glad it does now.

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Filed under Noted In Passing

Smelly Bibles

When I was eight years old, I was given my first Bible at Hollywood Presbyterian Church by a minister who looked like a football star/leading man. Around the same time my beloved dance teacher gave me a small bottle of perfume, which I loved too much to use. After reading the story of Mary pouring her best perfume oil on Jesus’ feet, I decided to pour my whole bottle of perfume on the Bible. Since that perfume was my only treasure at the time, it was an extravagant expression of faith. That smelly Bible was one of my first attempts to make art.

Sam Philips

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Filed under Noted In Passing, This Is Good

I’m Still Alive

But traveling last week and tied up in a doctoral seminar this week.  Light or non-existent blogging for the next week.  Keep reading your Bibles without me–I’ll catch up.

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