I was in the Duke Divinity School library yesterday doing some research, and noticed this theological discussion conducted via graffiti near the study carrells.
Is there poop in the eschaton?
I think I’m going to poop
I can’t! Even after ex-lax! Help!
SERIOUSLY- What do you think? Is there pooping in the eschaton?
Depends: at the resurrection, yes. Not at any disembodied intermediate state, though.
RESURRECTED BODIES WILL PROCESS NUTRIENTS PERFECTLY, PRODUCING NO WASTE
Is feces waste? It puts nutrients back into the soil. Could the interconnectivity of life needed to make heaven edenic truly be present without a little poop?
I just hope this doesn’t eventually lead to a church split. The last thing we need are poop-in-the-New-Earth Methodists squaring off against no-poop-in-the-New-Earth Methodists.
Until I know otherwise, I’m going to assume this is the work of pre-law students. Divinity students should all know the real answer already.